30 days done, 70 to go...

The 100 day project | Here's how it's going

Having little kids makes it challenging to be spontaneous about creating. Creative epiphanies are no match for the needs of little children. During these 100 days, I’m really leaning into consistency over creative bursts.

In addition to baby puree, cheerios, and hot wheels coating my floors, now there are also rogue paper scraps and dots of gouache. My mess + my kid’s mess = big big mess. My brain, a rolodex of both useless and critical information, is nearly at capacity, making me feel like at any moment I could overlook something major. The anxiety that comes with (what was) a relatively simple act, like listening to the news, is so derailing I get twitchy eyelids just thinking about it. In not so subtle ways my brain is telling me that it’s about to run out of storage. I am compelled to continue these remaining (70ish) days of the 100 day project, grow my creativity and watch the work I’ve created build upon itself, but I’ve already got the volume on life turned up to eleven and it’s intense.

Without being hyperbolic, I declare that these past few weeks have been nuts. March’s yo-yo of ups and downs included time at the hospital when my 1.5yr old was in the ICU. Then, a week later, I left my kids and husband for the first time and went to Costa Rica for a surf trip with a group of women I had yet to meet. This trip completely exceeded my expectations, I returned feeling nourished and inspired, but (surprise surprise) still tired

In both of these experiences I found myself leaning on this growing creative routine as a way to distract and process the uncertainty and excitement. If I was not doing the 100 day project I am certain I wouldn’t have grabbed my paints and collage pieces as the paramedics shuffled around my living room trying to help us get to the hospital. Who needs a toothbrush and clean underwear when you’ve got paintbrushes and paper scraps instead? Priorities, I guess.

I keep coming back to this Octavia Butler quote, “first forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you're inspired or not." Part of why I am doing this 100 day project is to flex the repetition, and get into the habit of building my creative habit. As much as I’d love to create on a larger scale, and chase depth and slowness in my work, this is not the chapter in my life for that. So, we do what we can, when we can.

A few pieces from the past few days

I’d love to hear if you are also in a period of creating, how things are going for you? What helps you stay consistent? And even if you are not making art in a direct sense, remember this, “We are all artists, we are all working out of our creativity on a daily basis, whether in raising our children, balancing our checkbooks, cooking our meals, carrying out our work, making love, praying, talking, or standing up to wannabe dictators….Our lives are daily acts and choices calling for creativity." Quote by one of my favorites, Matthew Fox.

Thanks for reading, see you here again soon!

Jackie :)